And if I do, may I be struck down by lightning for my gross lack of gratitude.


I will never- ever- complain about my $12 T-Mobile phone again. Who gives a crap if  it can’t receive group texts from my friends’ smart phones?  If sending it the amount of information required to access a picture would probably cause it to spontaneously explode? If people go out of their ways at bars to chastise me for my phone?


It’s time we got some perspective, people…


Today, I dropped it in the toilet, it was completely submerged for more than a few seconds (to be exact, something like five seconds… a.k.a. the amount of time it took me to come to terms with the fact that I had to fish my hand into a toilet bowl if I wished to continue uninterrupted communication with the rest of the world). And not only did the incident not cause any perceptible damage to my phone…it never even turned off!


(I’m not saying it single-handedly renewed my faith in the good lord baby Jesus… or in miracles…. but I don’t say a lot of things that I believe. And god knows I say a shit ton that I don’t.)


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