i love being home for the holidays


my family is a riot. sitcom material all over the place. i’ve expended 30% of my energy in laughing over the past two days. here are some bytes, but they don’t do it all justice.

as soon as i get home, cary and mom come to greet me and we are chatting it up in the dining room. mike comes out of the shower a few minutes later in super -tight high waist briefs. my mom and sister start simultaneously groaning and complaining: ahhh ewww Mike geeeez

carebear: (sarcastically) those boxers brand new christmas presents you got there, mike ?

mike: (tip toes daintily over to cary) there a christmas present for you (taps her nose with his index finger as he delivers this one-liner, giggles, prances backwards like a fairy).

later that day, me carebear and sean went to the mall to help cary find a dress that says, “i have a great figure AND i go to church” for a christmas eve service she was planning to attend, and also to say hey to our cousins that currently work at subway there. our cousins weren’t working then, apparently, and, after searching several stores, we decided there were no good looking dresses for a reasonable price that met carebear’s criteria. as we get back in the car, half-defeated:

carebear: man, that is so depressing. not one decent dress in that whole mall.

me: yeah. total waste of time. and marina and mena weren’t even working at subway. this really sucked.

(long silent pause)

sean:  sooo, y’guys wanna form a suicide pack or sumthin?!


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