tire swings

April 27, 2011

hated them

but they were part of the scene

hated them

because i had no control

unless i pushed

so i kept pushing

my self

round and spinning

into selves

dizzy and disoriented

selfless selves

and i remember

from the very beginning

just wanting to throw it all up

molly

April 26, 2011

mad machine

promised her

when she was young

if she didn’t distract

didn’t counter-act

contract her services

_______

misleading statement

mad machine

molly is older

independent contractor    of a kind

whistler’s whistle blower

only plays with those       of a  kind

only stays and has her ways with those she knows can’t pay   yet

most distracting thighs

but its her tongue

that keeps her street corner coordinates

glowing flashing fiery red alarms

a star on their map

_______

she cons people for their pennies

to make her moves  those illuminating antics

pennies swallowed by sheep

pennies they owe the mad machine

molly is older

subversive starlet

a beggar with grenades

and thank you notes

in her fiber

woven

weather

torn

bag of tricks

for trade

for teasing you

for  change

be your own guinea pig

April 25, 2011

my eyes like to close and sense the sides of my mouth rise
and the skin on my face will flush a rush of warmth radiates through to the surface
and i tingle in my nerves to know in my mind to feel in my bones
and through the tones of my own sweet voice  i hear truth

that i have in fact never been happier in my whole life than i am now

when i open them again all is so new and foreign facing me awkwardly wandering and waiting on me and wanting to know what i will do next and what is my plan nowadays now end days and i beam i absolutely beam with delight come come you will love this i swear just try this on and everything will be perfect and you will feel greeted with open arms and open hearts and open minds every which way you turn just do as i do and i do the same thing over and over again see like me watch

my eyes like to close and sense the sides of my mouth rise
and the skin on my face will flush a rush of warmth radiates through to the surface
and i tingle in my nerves to know in my mind to feel in my bones
and through the tones of my own sweet voice  i hear truth

that i have in fact never been happier in my whole life than i am now

My Easter Prayer

April 24, 2011

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me the strength and confidence to share my prayers, my paralyzing fears and rejuvenating hopes, aloud with you each day, and on this day of exceptional symbolic significance of the power of self sacrifice, transcendence, forgiveness, and rebirth.

My deep fears, dear God, that in going about the world with your message as our end in one hand, we have held force as our means in the other hand; that we have, in fact, gone about the world, “bible in one hand, rifle in the other.”

I ask that if we need to let go of our bibles, in order that we may drop our rifles, that you provide us with the wisdom and fearlessness to do so, that you facilitate the creation of safe human spheres where alternative words and sign posts and ideas may be generated that will orient us more authentically to our divine tasks of kindness, compassion, the alleviation of suffering, and the equal and just distribution of all your precious life resources that all your precious creation may have equal opportunities to flourish.

I ask that you provide us with the wisdom to see our judgments concerning the status of our poor (less fortunate) brethren, regarding their aptitude, their worthiness, their determination, their drive, their work ethic, and their intent

for what they always only were, and will only always have been-

a sad but sincere reflection on the state of our own consciousness, an honest indication of the current limitations of our own ability to understand your message in the packages it has been thus far presented and delivered to us in.

My deepest hope, dear God, in going about the world, is that you may continue to facilitate opportunities for personal growth and continue to foster within us a creative energy, generous spirit, and relentless drive to do everything within our power to learn and share your true message through all our thoughts and acts.

Let every one of our thoughts be for peace and love, pure and simple.

Let every one of our acts be to alleviate and counter-act the incredible suffering produced by (and being reproduced by) grossly dysfunctional and unjust man-made, greed-based systems of human inequality (of freedom and well being and potential and power).

Most of all, I pray that you encourage these thoughts and acts to emerge from the most humble of roots- by reminding us each and every day (and never letting us forget) that we do not, nor have we ever, nor will we ever, legitimately be able to claim property rights to (or sole ownership over) anything at all, beyond our own conscious Presence.

Amen.

April 22, 2011

artist

“Artist,

of course I am an ARTIST  she screamed

and leapt from the couch

flailing her arms  and dancing into the wall   throwing plates and breaking glass

yelling profanities at the top of her lungs,  dropping her pants   and then her panties

she ran to the drawer  frantic  papers flew  strewn across the desk top

markers fell    post its everywhere (they help her remember)

“Aha! I’ll show you Art”  and she started tossing nude photos of herself   hidden at the bottom of the drawer

in the back corner of her mind

black and whites    four generations worth

“I’ve been taking them my whole lives!   So don’t you talk to me about art!

You wouldn’t know good art if it slapped you in the face,

let alone kissed you ‘good morning’ each day,

washed your clothes,

made your coffee,

laughed at your jokes,

told your stories,

played by your rules in the majority reality frame.

No, sir. Don’t talk to me about Art.

You don’t know shit about Art.”

then she  calmly sat back down  at the very corner of the couch

(so as not to take up more space then she needed)

she allowed her shoulders to slouch      smiled her mischievous smile

and without offering a slight pause to honor

or at least acknowledge

the transition of mood from volatile creativity to radiating inner peace

she apologized for the outburst    politely   and went about her business

“Give up defining yourself – to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.” 

“Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.”

“This, too, will pass.”

“Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to “die before you die” — and find that there is no death.”

“Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness.”

“Anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you.”

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.”

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”

“A genuine relationship is one that is not dominated by the ego with its image-making and self-seeking. In a genuine relationship, there is an outward flow of open, alert attention toward the other person in which there is no wanting whatsoever.”

“Is there a difference between happiness and inner peace? Yes. Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive; inner peace does not.”

“Humanity is now faced with a stark choice: Evolve or die. … If the structures of the human mind remain unchanged, we will always end up re-creating the same world, the same evils, the same dysfunction.”

“Don’t let a mad world tell you that success is anything other than a successful present moment.”

“Awareness is the power that is concealed within the present moment. … The ultimate purpose of human existence, which is to say, your purpose, is to bring that power into this world.”

“To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly. Things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them – while they last. All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease.”

-Eckhart Tolle

let me invite you out tomorrow

show you a grand ole time  the finest of company

and genuine music performed impassioned

received embraced

the finest spirits among kindred spirits

i’ll pick you up all dressed up

fix my hair and such

super pretty for you

revolutionary dialogue

animated too

i’ll woo you through to the morning

when the oppressed

don’t feel internal guilt anymore

or at least when they learn to place it

more appropriately

more accurately

within a complicated interwoven quilt of contextual variables

wherein their decision space was understandably

constrained and determined

not entirely   never entirely

but just enough to compromise informed decision making

when the guilt is understood and when the self is forgiven

and when the self is vindicated by this experience of context

and when the self is affirmed by a loving voice of reason

of camaraderie in shared first person experiences

well then you can save your  feel good hand outs

and silence your feel superior judgments

and tie your rope of subjective taken for granted assumptions

(you call it your pillow of objective truth)

over your head and around your own neck

(you say its between your neck and the bed  just under your head)

and never be the wiser

(you say you could never be wiser)

while we renew the whole world as you sleep

while we reinvent the morning

while we breath life back into your patterns

and we’ll still have breakfast ready for you in the morning

and all you’ll have to do

is trust our toast

so what’s going on  

you two are still together , right?

still a couple

think branches on a bonsai tree

just friends?

are you a lesbian?

you’re not a lesbian

a small bonsai  where its overabundance of growth energy

is channeled with a great deal of intentionality

boyfriend and girlfriend? 

I don’t believe in that shit anyways

he’s not a fag,  right?

most of the time to promote optimum overall growth

sometimes just to create beautiful intricate patterns

partners?  what about the “life partners” bullshit?

you promised me you two would get engaged

of course this requires the branches to grow apart at times

sometimes for several years at a time

to meet and wrap themselves within other branches

and reunite again in increasingly complicated and splendidly straightforward rendezvous’

bonsai branches come from the same source with the same force and thrust outwards dancing upwards to the stars in

their streaming colliding swaying bowing blossoming smooth balance towards reunification and renunciation of

explicit commitments  the antithesis of creation

because   simply   there is no need for commitment in a shared creative sphere

it is understood  by branches of this kind

the commitment is to unconditional love  balanced nurturing   mutual support  generosity of spirit

and promotion of individual freedom and growth

just promise me you two are going to get married

don’t disappoint me again

Mary, please

for your mother’s sake,

don’t do this to your mother again

don’t make me do this again

everything is going good

I don’t want to have to change

don’t do this to the family again

don’t make me do this

and they never worry that the whole dark and constrained and god-forsaken world

could come blindly and ignorantly  and violently and intentionally

crumbling down on them

at any wondrous captivating playful and pleasant moment in time