Preference

February 23, 2011

waterfalls for my sister
 mysterious midnight scenery with candle lights and Christmas lights
and glowing stone or brick paved walkways
 bodies of water ocean waves moonlight reflecting
 docks and rocks and crashing shorelines
 lighthouses for my mother
swing sets and rocking chairs and merry go rounds and wandering around
aimlessly
isolation in context in general
 everything blurred and glowing and distorted
radiating relative absolution
or objective absurdity
or carefree ambiguity

			

elevate

February 12, 2011

Jill
ditch Jack
me  Mary and Gretel are heading south to
Greyhound gargling spitfires
broomsticks lipsticks dipsticks
bar stools pigeon stool  those tools
don't see us coming
we're grabbing Angelina and meeting Eve
and Cher and Joan there bare foot breathing
then its up up up kaleidoscopes
misty dew draped do disappearing acrobatics
in the mist
just like i promised but better
my dear
because we are girls

so stop asking

February 12, 2011

they  want to know my thoughts on war
 i retreat into my body      space
i cannot dig myself out of a hole
that exists only in my mind
so what do i know about war
the desecration of the presence of being becoming in nothingness
they want to know my thoughts on love
 i retreat into my mind      space
i pardon myself from that dinner table
grateful if no one notices my departure
then get that flashlight out of my face
the affirmation of the presence of nothingness in being becoming
and if that wasn't clear
than it isn't clear
to anyone
including me
We are better than
the movies and the music and the media
and our role models and our best friends and our mothers
and our fathers and our teachers and their teachers and our partners and their partners
and our coworkers and our bosses and history and society and culture
have let on
(especially when potential for transcendence and evolution are factored into the equation)
and though we  have presumed and have been persuaded
and though it has been suggested and protested and not much contested
that we are lesser
the only transgressor
is our own will to want to will to challenge to see to grow to lead (by example)
and to be who we will be guiltless and free
and acutely aware of the levels of external constraints involved in determining our paths
but
(much) more importantly
aware of our privileged perspective in creating and defining our own path

February 9, 2011

I am so lucky to have such an amazing better energy pulsating through me and with me and next to me
 and always loving me and affirming me and supporting my
 reckless and purposeful and controversial endeavors
 and never trying to control me or constrain me or dictate my
 free will
 and I can not bring myself to tell you or show you or let on
 just how I feel and I feel and I feel
 like we are empirical evidence that a path of abandonment and suffering and burn after burn can still create something
 so beautiful and everlasting and unconditionally loving and pure
 and that maybe in fact
 it is the only path than can

books about not books

February 9, 2011

How   so  far       do  you go
when you know very well
that you have no idea whatsoever
where in hell     such a devil         may lead
or   what on Earth   has possessed you    to   follow
And
who  in Heaven
has taken so passionately to the sport of  gambling
that their most precious has been wagered
yet again (nothing personal, of course)
and suspended
in a most precarious state
late    ly
 fate     faint  ly
has played a role   though     so

 
hand me the pencil   or paint   brush
music   sound   imagery     a book or two    movie    mix in
and some exchanges     plants   places  I can create from earlier in the day
people   or year and rearrange
and I'm going to write you a story
It's about you and me
and this whimsical red world excursion
Plenty of room for character development
less so for this setting
and  none for plot line  and
(never mention that last part
because its hot down here and you don't like Truth
and you were never listening anyways)



			

with your arms       outstretched       trying to take flight
leaving            everything        behind.’
-Lyrics, DCC
'We're burning down the highway skyline 
on the back of a hurricane,
 that started turning when you were young.' 
-The Killers

 
Forget about that. We're having a good time now. Don't think about that.
Have you seen 'A Walk to Remember'?
I'm gangster.
You haven't seen this movie?
20 years of course I still love her. I'm going to be there for her.
Forget that news, bad stuff and the fighting. Let's have a good time. Listen to Yana Yana.
He's been smoking since he was 13 years old.
You don't know this song either?
It's my dad's favorite movie.
I can get you a nice suite. Five day vacation in Vegas. April. All expenses paid. No gambling.
You were sheltered!
I've been smoking since I was 13 years old.
J.R. will be calling them.  He oversees five major Vegas casinos.
Everything will be given to them compliments of Ms. Marcous.
I can get the leaves. You need some? I can get it pure.
I told her to dress up because I'm taking her for a fancy dinner.
I think I want to settle down.
I'm a hustler. I love you baby.
When are you going to give me some grand kids?
Hey babe, what's up?
My mom mentioned how surprised she was to have witnessed a female Egyptian protester proclaim to international news media outlets that for the very first time in her life, she truly felt proud to be Egyptian. This was said in response to the recent protests in Egypt demanding President Mubarak step down from power.
I wasn't sure if my mom was more impressed by the candidness of the statement or the fact that she (a woman in a notoriously repressive, patriarchal culture) was actually out protesting in the street and making such a candid statement publicly, aloud, for the whole world to hear.
Either way, it made my day-- primarily because I can relate! To see the Egyptian people unite on common ground and assert their agency against sedimented power structures has been truly inspirational, regardless of what may come.
What is more, to actually see  how the Tunisian people inspired the Egyptian people and how other Arab countries' disenfranchised people are starting to follow suit has me dreaming and wishing and speaking and persuading all over again that we are free agents with the potential to recreate ourselves and the power infrastructures and systems that constrain and shape our decision space any moment we choose to realize it.
If there is a grossly unequal distribution of wealth (power, freedom, potential) within a system, then the system is failing. No matter how long those systems have perdured and regardless of how deeply entrenched their social norms and mores are within their infrastructures and population, the majority of free agents can at any time choose to transcend and evaluate the situation and, if they can come to agree on just one single item for change, they can turn their concrete, isolated, alienated, and determined world into something radically different--and they can see it for what it really is: a collective idea --a house of cards  or Legos or building blocks on a play ground--only one that can be manipulated and recreated some infinite number of instantiations until the configuration is conducive to the accretion of exponential levels of equally distributed freedoms for all the creatively growing beings of awareness
to enjoy
and create
and recreate
peacefully
in love.

‘I woke up this morning, a funny taste in my head,

Spackled some butter over my whole grain bread.

Something tastes different, maybe it’s my tongue
Something tastes different, suddenly I’m not so young

I’m just a stranger, even to myself
A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf

Kiss the boys as they walk by, call me their baby
But little they know, I’m just a maybe

Maybe my baby will be the one to leave me sore
Maybe my baby will settle the score

What have I become?
Something soft and really quite dumb

So far away from the place where I started from.’