Walphins, Scene 1

September 17, 2010

Sean had recently read a science article on inter-species mating. I know what you’re thinking (that’s exactly the kind of weird shit he’s into). Anyways, he felt the (unsolicited) compulsion to educate the missus on the various hybrid breeds cited therein. Accordingly, the conversation went (a little) something like this:

Scene: evening at the Marebear residence–family lounging aimlessly in kitchen area. Bobo lays limp, eyes drooping to the sound of science and information being blubbered by the father he never wanted– mustering occasional barks of disapproval intermittently.

Sean: So, there’s the ‘zorse’ and it’s a hybrid between a horse and a zebra.

Me: Alright, fairly believable.

Sean: There’s also the ‘liger’. It’s a cross between a lion and a tiger.

Me: What creative genius scientist is coming up with these names?

Sean:  ::school girl giggles:: Who knows! Oh, and there’s the ‘walphin’…

Me: A cross between a walrus and a dolphin?

Sean:  ::school girl giggles:: Noooooo, silly! (Me: f*** you, I think to myself) It’s a hybrid between two different species of dolphin! Come on, Marebear, how could a walrus and a dolphin have sexual intercourse?

Me: I don’t know. Is it really that hard for you to picture a walrus and a dolphin f***ing hardcore?

-long pause of silence-

::single school girl giggle::

and curtain (applause).

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