An Ode to Fog

2009.12.12

Fog is the most aesthetically pleasing phenomena I can think of. It blankets scenes and makes the environment temporarily look like a sort of dream world–nothing concrete, just vague outlines of ideas amidst a sea of haze.

I realized my love for fog a few weeks back. I was on my way to work and something had caused a road block, and traffic was at a stand still for quite some time. Peeps were getting antsy, calling into their jobs or calling their partners to complain about the delay…occasional horns, dirty looks, every car in their own little world of misery and agitation…peeps were just pissed, period. Meanwhile, in the corolla, Mare-bear had come across a Dolly Parton song and was jamming out (as is my custom), fingers flailing in the air like Mare-bear just don’t care. I then shifted my focus to the Amelia River- a marshy waterscape blanketed in fog, looking like something out of a landscapes calendar. I watched some birds flying in search of food in the midst of the fog–just off the pavement, away from the cars,signs, and store fronts-an entirely different world. Dolly Parton’s charob-like voice faded into the background and Return to Innocence came on (no joke). Traffic was moving again…I got honked at for not realizing this. I transitioned back into rat race mode. That was so beautiful, I thought to myself. I feel so light. It must be the fog, it reminds me that none of this is really that real, and I can breathe a sigh of relief. I like fog..

Eau de BoBo

2009.12.12

Eau De BoBo is a new fragrance being marketed as a sophisticated cologne by Babylon. Au de Bobo is, literally, Baby’s breath bottled and shipped to your door for the seductive price of $100 USD. De BoBo is sure to offend-even the most insisting of dates! The odor is irrefutably rancid and ostensibly elegant all at once. Let’s hear what people have had to say about the sole source behind this revolutionary new cologne:

“His breath smells like ass hole.”

“That’s horrifying-f***’n putrid as shit, man.”

“His breath is so f***ing offensive.”

“Oh my God, it just hit me, what the f***. That’s not normal.”

” I turned on the AC in the car, and BoBo was just breathing right into it-and whamm, my eyes start watering and I almost lost control of the steering wheel.”